Wandering In The Fields

    Omega walked down the gravel road in the middle of the country.  The darkness tried to engulf him, but his rage kept it at bay.  He stared at the ground while moving, watching each foot pass in front of the other.  His hands clenched in his pockets out of anger.  The silent breeze crept out of the cornfield to his left, but the stabbing cold had no effect on the cold-hearted man.  His mind raced with thoughts that had no real connection to one another, which was okay to him.  For they were his thoughts, therefore the importance of them having any meaning beared only significance to him.
    His thoughts snapped closed, and his steps came to an end.  The whole world stopped with him.  He stood there on the road so still, even the wind was scared to breathe for a moment.  His eyes raised above his glasses, even though his vision was poor looking above them.  His head raised to bring the lens up and focus his view.  It was a barn.  An old rickety barn.  He stared in it's direction for a moment, then felt compelled to move toward it.
    His thoughts were now aligned, his purpose for this moment was clear.  His feet resumed their pace, but his gaze remained on the barn.  When the wall of corn ended, the barn was in full view.  Omega walked forward.  There was no visable farm house, or any house for that matter.  The barn stood alone, it's pupose was it's own.  But something wasn't right about it and Omega knew it.  His mouth spoke not a word, but his mind narrated everything.
    "It's a barn, a home for livestock or farm equipment.  Used to store grain and hay.  But this barn is different.  There's more to it.  Something about it.  You must find out what that something is."  His mind spoke in fragments, but it was like a choir in his head, the rythem carried him.  "No one, alone, someone, alone."  He walked alongside the wall of the barn, to an entrance.  He stood in the mammoth opening, looking around.
    There were a few piles of hay, a loft, some farming tools.  A hoe, a pitchfork, a shovel.  He looked toward the ceiling, nothing.  He tilted his head down and to the left, concentrating on what was over his left shoulder.  Nothing.  He was safe from the thought of potential dangers, his mind once again at ease.  He stepped into the barn, silence.  The enclosed area, though roomy at the same time, made him feel encased.  He wasn't outside and he could feel it with his ears.  Sound waves no longer running free across the countryside.  Things now bounced back quicker.  Because of this, anything that made a noise in there would register faster then it did on the outside.  His reaction time was heightened.
    But he didn't know what made him want to be in this barn.  He didn't know what made him want to be anywhere near here.  He didn't even know why he was wandering the country.  But these weren't his concern.  His concern was in this barn.  He moved slowly, but not cautiously.  He knew whatever threat came his way, his reaction would just be as swift.
    There was a pile of hay that spoke to him.  His attention was drawn to it suddenly.  Once again he stopped.  His head now lowered and tilted to the right.  It was safe.  He looked at the hay, he moved towards the hay, he rounded the hay.

    And then he saw her.

    A girl.  A girl layed before him.  He looked down upon her, she was silent.  She appeared to be in her late teens, early 20s.  She wore a white t-shirt and denim jeans.  Her red hair was tangled in the hay.  Her hands were pulled as close to her body as possible, her legs curled up in the fetal position.  Her eyes were closed, her breath was quick and sharp.  Omega knew it was cold, he just couldn't feel it.  He stood there with uncertainty.  His instincts brought him here, but they no longer were speaking to him.  He began to wonder if he was blocking them out somehow.
    She was shivering, cold, weak.  All he felt like doing was watching her.  Watch her lose what little warmth she was generating in her failing body.  His greed for human unhappiness grew and he watched the poor creature suffer.  She was dying, he was living.  He was better off then her.  He held her life in his hands, and he could just as easily crush her.  His hands still clenched in his pockets: rage, anger, hate.  He felt no compassion and it made him feel good.
    He knelt down and sat on the ground.  He crossed his legs and withdrew his hands from his pockets.  In the back of his mind he knew he wanted to help her.  But there was no room for what he was now that he had become who he is.  This logic spoke so loudly to him that everything else seemed to be as it should be.
    Just then, one of her eyes opened to peek out at the cruel world.  She spotted Omega almost immediately.  She was frightened of him.  Her eyes told him a scary tale of how helpless she felt and how vulnerable her position was.  But when Omega did nothing but sit there before her, she felt slightly calmer.
    "W-W-Who are y-y-you?"  She shivered.
    Omega simply stared back at her.  He made no movement, he spoke not a word.
    She curled up as hard as she could into a ball.  Omega could feel that she was so alone.  So alone and now so scared.  There was a stranger before her, a man who could help her, or a man who could make her situation worst.  He did neither, but watch her.  Omega knew that she was going to act at some point and that action was going to be the definition of why he came into this place.  He waited.  He watched.
    The girl was now crying.  Silent tears, no sobs.  All her energy was going into keeping her warm, but her confusion of this situation needed to be expressed and her body told her this was the way to do it.  She drew one clenched hand to her mouth and bit hard into her fist.  She was testing her reality, and it was real.  Too real was this nightmare she was in, and Omega's pressence only made it more horrific.
    "She will expire, she will die."  His thoughts had returned but not so directive.  They spoke now of what he already knew.  "Just wait, she will no longer be with us."
    Suddenly, she propped her broken self up to the best of her ability and half-heartedly lept at Omega.  He reacted to her as if it were an attack.  But her arms wrapped around him and she positioned herself in his lap.  Her desperation was to seek warmth from Omega, no matter what the consequences.  But Omega was cold, he had nothing to offer her.  She was better off on the ground, in the hay.  She buried her head into his neck, ashamed of her actions.  She didn't want to be anywhere near here, yet she was near death in this lonely place.  Her tears ran down her face and landed on his skin.  So cold were her tears.  But Omega felt nothing.
    Omega's hands hung in the air, unsure of what to do.  Slowly, he brought them around her fragile body.  The voice he had ignored for so long now screamed loudly in his ears.  "Why now!?  You watched her died, now you have compassion!?  Why now!?"  And just like that, that voice was gone again.
    And with that, her body went limp.  Omega felt her last breath escape from her lungs and drift across his neck.  Her desperate grasp around him came loose and her arms lay on his shoulders.  Omega was alone, he now could physically feel how alone he was in his arms.
    A tear of his own formed in his eye.  What had he become, what has his life led him to?  He drew her lifeless body to him, afraid to let go of her, even though he never had her to begin with.  No one was there to see him, but he hid his face.  Afraid to let his emotions be seen by the rest of the world.  He cried into her shirt, his sobs were muffled by his attempts to hold them back.  He was nobody, he was nothing.
    His purpose was not to save her, his purpose was to lose his last thread of humanity before becoming everything he had once swore he would never become.  With her death, his being died with her.  With this cry, his emotions left too.  No longer was he to be apart of the world he took for granted.  He now was a lost cause, a blemish on humankind.
    Omega stopped crying all at once and sat with the girl in his arms.  He slowly lowered her to the ground and positioned her the same way he had found her laying there.  He stood up and placed his hands back in his pockets.  He wrapped his trenchcoat around his body and walked out the way he came.  From the barn he walked back to the gravel road.  From there he stopped and looked up at the stars.
    Omega once looked up at the stars in astonishment, wondering about their infinate knowledge.  He know felt nothing.  Just lights above to reflect the path he was to walk on.  And walk on, he did.


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